by Harshrox88, staff writer
Ever found yourself in a situation, where “technically” you are in a relationship, enjoying every perk of being in one, love spending time with your partner, enjoy physical intimacy, bond well with each other, and have every element of a typical relationship, yet you don’t label it as a relationship?
Or, in a situation where going with the flow makes more sense than crafting it in something more meaningful and long term? Or, in a situation where you need your proper time and clarity before coming up with “it’s a yes? Or, even in a situation ” where you are unsure about someone, but don’t mind getting intimate with him or having sex with him?
If your answer is YES to any one of the above-mentioned cases, then indeed you are in a SITUATIONSHIP – A thin line that separates casual hookups and a relationship. It’s something with little emotions involved, but minus the tags and labels that follow with a relationship. It’s something you call; complicated, but not committed.
Though even the dictionaries have yet to find a clear precise definition to it, we – ‘the millennials’- have managed to found our expression and way around it. Gone are the days when you have to pluck till the last leaf to know whether he loves you or not. Now it doesn’t even matter and things can run smoothly even without having seriousness around it. People are very much happy and in peace to have a simulator relationship experience without trying their hand on an actual relationship, whether love exists or not.
And here are a few more signs to look out for:
You don’t believe in tags
If you are in a ‘relationship’ where tags don’t hold any significant value, where your mutual bonding and understanding overshadows labels of a “relationship”, or of a “couple”…You ‘eat, love and pray’ as a couple, even the whole world has mistaken you as a couple, but you and your partner never accepted it formally, and not even in a mood to do it in near future too.
You both appear as a couple on the surface, but very much detached and independent on the root level. You are just a couple living an uncoupling theory, and you find this more comforting than messing it up just for the sake of labels. It’s a sure-shot thing that…
It’s more sexual than emotional
If your relationship lacks the emotional depth and sex is the only thing that makes sense, also, if you or your partner avoids sharing life happenings, or initiating deep emotional conversations, or restrict connecting emotionally with each other, then it’s a clear case of situationship.
People in situationship focus more on keeping themselves free from all emotional baggage that a relationship brings, and it’s unimaginable for them to enjoy a long interesting conversation without having to utter the word “Sex” in between.
You both never talk about future
If you are ‘moment’ driven and rejoice to be in a moment, your actions are influenced by the short term pleasures rather than long term relationship goals, then it’s another sign of situationship.
You manage to dodge every situation and question that adds stress or seriousness to your situationship. And, you withdraw yourself from “future talks” because of your uncertainty of having a long term connection with each other.
You never hang out too much
You hang out with each other depending on your moods and intentions, you are never motivated enough to ask each other out for a date or even for a movie, as you are in no mood to indulge yourself into typical couple things. You are happy with the way things are secretly going on and are reluctant to change its course.
And, even if you hang out sometimes, you either prefer meeting at your own place or some less-crowded place rather than a public place, as bringing it out to the public eyes is not something you want right now.
You don’t communicate daily
While in a relationship communication serves as the foundation, whereas in situationship it is an alien concept. People in a situationship talks when they are “in-mood” or if there is something urgent to convey, or when to make their sex plans. They don’t find themselves bound to call or text each other daily, even for good morning and goodnight gestures.
People in situationship doesn’t mind even if a whole week goes by without talking to each other. Moreover, they also expect from their partner to not make mountain out of a molehill.
You find it hard to introduce each other to people
This could be a reason people in situationship avoid hanging out publically with each other, as they are still not comfortable introducing their situation-partner to others. Calling each other ‘just friends’ seems an understatement and labeling it as “relationship” overcomplicate it.
You both lack clarity when it comes to finding a more suitable word to define your current situation…And, you are not even bothered enough to come up with one.
You are still open to other ‘prospects’
It’s been a long time since you are hanging out, you have developed a better understanding towards each other, your compatibility is far more from what you expected, yet you don’t consider yourself as potential prospects for each other.
You don’t mind gelling up with other people and still very much open to experimenting more till you finally settle down with your ‘type’ of person.
No traces to memories
In a relationship, people love to create beautiful memories with each other so that they have something to adore if they choose to look back some time, whereas in a situationship people make sure to not leave any trace of memories.
They avoid clicking pictures together, tagging each other on social media, exchanging gifts, and every other thing that may define them as a “couple”.
Not a part of each other’s friend-squad
You both talk about your friends, also know each other’s friends by name, you flaunt your tuning with them and proudly express how grateful you are to have these wonderful friends, but when it comes to introducing each other or to hang out with them, you withdraw yourself from that conversation.
Moreover, you are unsure if you are even ready to disclose your secret-case to your friends and family, and you always come up with a legit reason to avoid it or to postpone it.
Confusion all over
You enjoy each other’s company and are always keen to finish your work early so that you can meet them, you have formed a good amount of comfort around them, and even don’t mind sharing your thicks and thins with them… But somehow are still unsure about your real feelings.
You are extremely fond of each other, but not in ‘love’. And you want to take things slow as it’s too early for you to make some serious confessions.
Also, there are a few people who avoid taking their relationship to the next level as they are still unsure if they can handle complications and commitments. Again…curious case of situationship.
Why people prefer situationship and is it bad?
There’s no one reason for it. Each individual is different, so are their expectations from a relationship. Some people are too heartbroken from their past relationship that they find it hard to get into a new one, while there are also a few who don’t consider themselves as a ‘relationship material’, and interestingly, there are also people who do it just out of the fun.
It’s an individual choice and there are a lot of underlying factors affecting that choice. Not always things are black and white. Sometimes they are gray – And people don’t mind it that way.
If getting into a situationship is a mutual decision and any of the partner doesn’t mind trying it, and moreover, no one is getting hurt out of it, then I don’t find any problems with it.
But mind it, things do take an ugly turn when one person gets emotionally attached and starts expecting the same from the other partner. Getting on the same page at the same time could get a little tough for some people and at times they end up making things more complicated than before.
Obviously, not everyone is looking for a commitment or to settle down with the first person they meet or feel attached with. They wish to explore and to meet more people before they say “yes” to one of them.
If you are an emotionally sensitive person and get easily attached to other people, then clearly you should avoid getting into a situationship even if it appears more glittery and fun. You are indeed more prone to hurt.
But on the other hand, if you are someone having a more casual and practical outlook towards things and are quite capable enough to take control of your emotions, situationship could be your choice to get to know other people before you choose to settle down in a relationship.
It’s all about your preferences and your outlook to see things. Not one opinion or outlook fits all. And, before you make a decision for yourself, go through a self-audit to figure out what you are looking for; a relationship or a situationship.